Remember the your feelings, experiences, and thoughts are all valid. That being said, life have the right to suck. A lot of of factors can make us feel broken, dumb, or just plain lousy. 

Here’s a perform of common feelings that make us think “what’s wrong v me?” and also how to solve them.

You are watching: What the hell is wrong with me

Read with them all, or click to be taken to your existing struggle.

And in the meantime, make certain you’re asking yourself the best question. There could be a more productive alternate than “What’s wrong through me?”

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via u/norwegiandoggo

I feel like I’m drowning.

You might be trying to execute too much, or you might not be giving your brain the possibility to reset.

Habits favor not resting or no engaging v your thoughts have the right to lead come dissociation or cognitive breakdown.

When this happens, we require to have actually a go-to “calm down” procedure.Having someone talk you through it (for free) have the right to help, yet it’s also important to have a setup for once you’re alone.

You have the right to start your routine in three an easy steps.

Step 1:

Identify a “calm-down” technique. This have the right to be anything that gives you some an are from the overwhelming thoughts: a walk, a shower, free-writing whatever comes to mind, or venting to a friend.

Step 2:

Have a arrangement to academy your liked technique. Decide as soon as you’ll interact in your calm-down activity: “Once I’m emotion x, I’ll do y.” capture yourself once you need to calm down, and also practice her calming an approach consistently.

Step 3:

Keep your calm-down an approach in your ago pocket. Create a reminder on her hand. Or set your phone come tell you to check in v yourself. Component of the difficulty in keeping calm is simply remembering you have actually tools to feel better!

Now, at any time you start to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or dissociated, you’ll automatically have a go-to an approach in mind the is connected with feeling of calm and also peace.

I sleep 12 hrs a day.

The bed is a location for rest, relaxation, and also recuperation — RRR. For this reason it renders sense the no one wants to leaving it.

It’s even harder as soon as you need to do stuff once you get up. The pressure pushes her eyes closed, and you fall back asleep, spending fifty percent your job or much more in bed.

Sleeping all day doesn’t even feel good. It’s appealing to prevent the bad stuff by closing her eyes, however you know it’s constantly worse as soon as you shot to get up. The to-do’s pile into a mountain.

So how deserve to you stop feeling choose something is wrong v you? How deserve to you convince you yourself to get up, do what you have to do, and live your life?

Ride the an ideas train.

Moving forward is less complicated when girlfriend think of it as a chain. This chain represents the concept of ‘behavioral activation.’

Once friend knock one domino over, the rest naturally follow — the the simple concept that inertia. Begin your morning with one consistent, concrete goal, even if it is it’s making coffee, eating breakfast, stretching, or anything else.

Once you up and moving, you’ll discover it much easier to save going.

Keep points consistent.

Inconsistent sleep schedules rise tiredness, which makes you want to continue to be in bed also longer. Try to go to sleep and wake up in ~ the exact same time each day.

Also shot to limit your sleep to 8-10 hrs — us all recognize that sleeping too small makes us tired, but sleeping too much will perform the same!

Plan continual rest and also relaxation times to organize out for.

The when: setup some rest time between your task periods throughout the day.

Some people prefer the classic Pomodoro technique in which you work-related for 25 minutes and also rest for 5. Others look front to long lunches and also dinners. Still rather prefer more unstructured time v a goal of 3, 4, or 5 remainder periods during random intervals in the day.

The what: think about what you desire to do throughout your RRR time.

Some ideas: taking a walk, sit outside, reading, acquisition a shower, and stretching. Our favourite is to perform a tiny venting v derekwadsworth.come people.

Do every little thing makes you feel an excellent — just shot to prevent getting earlier in bed!

Once you’re the end of bed, inspect out this overview to get yourself the end of the house.

I can’t think straight.

Brain fog — everywhere. You shot to work, however you can not untangle her thoughts. You shot to relax, yet you can not clear your mind. If you can’t think straight, it’s straightforward to feel like: “What the hell is wrong through me???”

It’s time to take it a brain inventory.

Step one in the process is to self-monitor: we need to take a few moments and break our basic sense of mind fog right into bite-sized pieces.

Separate psychic from body — Monitor those going top top in your body. Are you tired? Restless? Sore? Take note of exactly how your human body feels, and collection that aside because that now.Notice the trends of whereby your mental wanders — that too complicated to different every single thought us have, but we can division them up into trends. Room you most frequently thinking about work, friends, family, stress, your day-to-day schedule, your future, or something else?Once you identify what’s crowding up most of your brain fog, you have the right to start there. Think of valuable ways to resolve your main concern; because that example, call a friend, reorganizing your daily to-do list, or taking some time to research study career paths.

The process of sorting the end your thoughts can be a resource of stress in itself. Come solve: intersect your self-monitor with head-clearing activities.

For me, this is most often getting new air. For others, it might be a refresh shower, a healthy snack, or letting it all the end to an understanding person.

My body feels bad.

When something’s wrong with you physically, it’s regularly not in her control.

However, aside from going to the doctor, treating your body too as feasible can help it feel much less bad. Girlfriend guessed it: Self-care time!

Time to look at her habits and how friend can show yourself far better love.

Sleeping: store your sleep/wake schedule as constant as you can. Eliminate distracting items from her room in ~ night, such together unnecessary lights and sounds. Limit usage of electronics right prior to bed.

Eating: You can’t easily adjust your entire diet, yet you have the right to take some tiny steps toward healthier eating. Increase your input of fiber and protein. Border snacking. Try not come eat right before bed.

Exercise: you don’t have to come to be a gym rat. Begin small. Big every morning. Shot to take a walk every day. Perform a few squats, sit-ups, and also planks.

Mindfulness: take it 5 minutes every day to practice some mindfulness exercises. Shot belly breathing, gradual muscle relaxation, or love kindness meditation.

Health: If you’re emotion bad, walk to the doctor. Yes no injury in check up on her body with a professional. It doesn’t do you weak or overly concerned.

It’s not unusual to have actually a vitamin deficiency, a sleep top quality issue, or a question about your diet that a doctor can help with.

While these can be “something wrong,” they’re not fundamental issues v who you are. And you can quickly take activity to make yourself feeling better!

I feel alone, even with friends.

First, you’ll want to recognize where your loneliness is coming from. It’s not something wrong through you.

But unfortunately, we frequently can’t simply “think” our means out of feeling lonely —our brains don’t work-related that way. For this reason what deserve to we do?

Figure the end the source of her loneliness. Ask yourself these questions: 1) do I have sufficient connections to friends and family? 2) room the relations I do have actually quality connections? 3) execute I feel like something rather is absent even when others room around?

You might need to job-related on meeting new people or boosting the high quality of the relationship you currently have. This is an “other”-focused approach.

Alternatively, you might feel like you currently have loved ones who care about you, however it’s no enough. In this case, you may want to occupational on growing and also fulfilling yourself. This is a “self”-focused approach.

Use either the “other” or “self” route of communication

The “others” route: reach out and communicate her needs.

Be honest with others around what you want from them. Use the sandwich technique: 1 compliment, 1 request, and also 1 more compliment. An example could look prefer this:“I yes, really appreciate just how you’re always excited to invest time v me, however I’m wondering if we deserve to start talking a little bit an ext about what’s going ~ above in our lives. Ns think it will make us also closer considering how much we care about each various other already.”

The “self” route: build yourself, her interests, and also your purpose.

Brainstorm/research some fulfilling habits you deserve to do come decrease her feelings of loneliness. Part examples: gardening, cooking, sewing, DIY crafts, or reading. Every one of these can carry out a sense of purpose or fulfillment the others can’t fairly provide.

I dislike my parents.

A difficult truth: few of our parents are poorly equipped. Some are violent. Some are narcissists.

A harder truth: If girlfriend were elevated by abusive parents, they can have “brainwashed” you to feel prefer they’re always an excellent and that bad things are always your fault.

This can leave girlfriend feeling like there’s no factor for your poor feelings toward them, and also can consequently increase feelings of guilt, resentment, and anger that have actually no outlet.

Most frequently when we believe there is something inherently wrong v us, it’s due to the fact that of the message our parents sent out in childhood.

If this sounds favor your situation, examine out derekwadsworth.com’s overview on identify narcissism and also recovering indigenous it.

And if you’re grounding in your situation, we completely get it and know that simply letting off steam may it is in your just solution ideal now. We would certainly love to aid you vent out these conflicting feelings.

I don’t feeling loved or understood by my family.

Maybe her parents no narcissists, however that doesn’t mean they’re without your fair re-superstructure of issues. Fortunately, there room some points you deserve to do come feel much less like there’s other wrong v you, even when your family isn’t the many derekwadsworth.come.

Find other methods to connect with your family.

Maybe interaction isn’t the best, yet can you increase quality time? quiet watching TV through your mom could be much better than nothing. And who knows — with more time invested together, possibly the talking component becomes a tiny easier.

Find others to listen.

If your parents can not be there for you in the way you need, uncover other support networks. Friends, grandparents, society media, or online support teams usually do the trick.

Be ok through some separation.

Many world feel guilty if they don’t have actually a good relationship through their family. After all, they’re family.

But it’s simple to forget the flipside: you’re likewise an individual. The only person you owe anything come is yourself. Your family members can jumpstart your growth and development, yet the rest is up to you.

Be excited to it is in your very own person, select your own connections, and also make your very own mistakes. Be you. 

If you’re still emotion alone, check out these relatable quotes about dysfunctional families.

I can’t acquire over my ex.

Everybody move on differently, yet there space some things you have the right to do to assist yourself with the process. Balance indulgence and also self-care. Listen to sad music; eat part ice cream; go for a walk with the park. Talk it out v someone.

Once you’ve enabled yourself some grieving time, begin thinking of some of the an excellent things that come from your breakup.

If you’ve left an abusive ex partner, you have the right to finally refuse their brainwashing the something’s wrong v you.

Or remember the butterflies-in-your-tummy feeling you obtain when you first meet who new? Not only do you have actually that waiting for you, however also an ext time for her friends and your hobbies.

You likewise have the liberty to live life the way you want, on your own timeline. And soon enough, someone rather will join you on the journey.

I can’t uncover a far-reaching other.

So you’re hoping to get ago out there. Luckily, “out there” is a large place.

Don’t be afraid to approach someone at the grocery save (as long as you do it respectfully). Sign up with clubs and meet people. Take it a class. Or, join one of many dating apps the suit different individual needs.

Remember to it is in patient, and also make certain your other relationships (with family, friends, and loved ones) are being nurtured in the meantime.

When you do fulfill someone, don’t be fear to call them how you feel. Too frequently we are so fear to take a hazard that we lose our chance — as Wayne Gretzky (and Michael Scott) famously said, “You miss 100% that the shots you nothing take.”

How to tell someone how you feel

Telling someone how you feel is perhaps among the many anxiety-filled, but additionally exciting, experiences in life. Luckily, over there are means to manage the anxiety and remember girlfriend are good – nothing is wrong with you.

Step 1: an increase your confidence. Wait until you’re in high soul to put yourself the end there.

Step 2: ease it right into conversation. The awkwardness innate in informing someone exactly how you feeling usually comes from the high level of pressure suddenly placed on both sides. Once that pressure comes out of nowhere, her confession becomes way scarier.

Try waiting until after they salary you a compliment, or after castle initiate a hangout, or while you’re already talking around feelings. Simply make that natural.

Step 3: offer them an “out.” If the human doesn’t feeling the same, or if they need time to process their feelings, no of girlfriend will have actually a fun time with the rest of the conversation.

Because of this, it deserve to be really valuable to add something like “I don’t expect you to answer now,” or “We can additionally just wait and also see exactly how things develop naturally,” so they don’t feel required to launch into a full an answer right away.

Good luck!

Work provides me anxious.

Anti-stress methods will it is in your finest friend here. You can do lock at her desk, in the car, or also out on the job!

At her desk: steady muscle relaxation, screentime breaks, vital oils (think lavender and also eucalyptus)In the car: think of satisfied memories, listen to funny podcasts or audiobooks, song out loud, switch right into comfier clothingOut on the job: have actually a snack or candy in your pocket, chew gum, stretch, take it a walkAll the the above: breathing exercises

For a much more specific approach, think about the resource of your stress — Is it your coworkers? her boss? The work tasks themselves? Is someone or other making girlfriend feel prefer something is wrong through you? then either vent around it to an expertise person, or examine out this guide to handling work stress no issue who (or what) is bring about it.

Nothing appears to go my way.

When nothing goes right, we begin to feel like life is out of ours control. Us then fight what’s happening, in search of any way to adjust things. This fight additional makes us realize how tiny control us have, and we can resign ourself to thinking something’s wrong with us.

No matter how hard we work-related or exactly how sincere our purposes are, some things are just out of ours hands.

When we invest our resides trying to readjust something unchangeable, thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” we deserve to never be happy.

The reality is, we need to do our best with what we have the right to control, and also accept what we can’t.

When you encounter a frustrating situation, an initial shift your thoughts come the elements you can control.

Stuck in traffic? You can’t make various other cars disappear, yet you deserve to leave at an early stage so girlfriend don’t have to worry around being late.Bills to pay? friend can’t do them go away, but you can ask for a repayment setup or readjust her finances.Lonely? You can not manifest a far-ranging other out of slim air, but you have the right to spend much more time v your friends.

If you always focus on the components you can’t regulate (I hate traffic, I have too plenty of bills, i’m so lonely), it will only make you feeling worse. If friend instead emphasis on what girlfriend can adjust (leaving early, refinancing, security time v friends), you’ll reclaim a sense of company in your life.

An alternative mindset…

Of course, it’s insignificant to suppose ourselves to never think around the things we can’t control. However, as soon as we execute think around them, us can try to readjust our perspective. We require to take on and acceptance and growth mindset.

Sometimes, awful things will happen, and there’s honestly naught we can do about them. However once us realize the ruminating on the bad things doesn’t do anything besides make united state feel even more awful, we have the right to instead accept them and move on. We have the right to do this by viewing life’s battles as challenges, rather than something wrong through us.

Whether you’re discovering something in class or top top the job, trying the end a brand-new relationship, or playing a video clip game, you will suffer setbacks. Viewing each struggle as a an obstacle helps us grow into better, smarter, stronger (and happier) people.

“Nothing appears to walk my way” turns into “I deserve to handle this, too.”

Nobody listens to me.

I firmly think that yes nothing more important in life than connection with various other people. This, that course, renders it all that lot harder once those roughly us can’t engage and also connect in a means that feels good to us.

When we feel that we aren’t gift heard and also understood, it deserve to feel choose something is wrong v you, even when it’s not.

On the bright side, world aren’t generally trying come hurt you; they simply don’t know what you really need. We deserve to fix this by to brush up on our communication skills.

Asserting your needs may an outcome in a hard conversation, but it will be great for your relationship in the long run. But before you go knocking on their door, it’s useful to practice what you desire to say.

How to assist others hear you:

First, create down what you want to say to the person. review what friend wrote. Pretend the you switched roles and also that you on the receiving end of the conversation.

Could something you wrote be regarded as hurtful? will it result in defensiveness that will acquire in the method of the real conversation? Did friend assign any type of unfair blame?

Now rewrite what you desire to say. change any targeting “you” statements to expressive “I” statements. Shift your emphasis from objections to values. Lastly, replace any kind of general requests with certain suggestions because that change.

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Here’s an example of what this procedure might look like:

First draft — “You never ever listen to me. The various other day, i was talk to you around my stress and anxiety at work and you interrupted me come talk about dinner. I wish you were a better listener.”

Second draft — “I really value being listened to and understood. Since I’ve been yes, really stressed around work lately, i was wonder if we deserve to talk a little an ext about that. The would mean a lot to me.”

You have the right to guess i m sorry conversation could be an ext successful!

Still, there may be points going ~ above in your life that also your closest loved ones don’t understand. If you’d rather talk to who who deserve to empathize v your situation, you can chat in ~ derekwadsworth.com through like-minded peers and also trained moderators that will constantly listen.