by Michelle Henderson – MA, LMHC, Anita Gadhia-Smith – PsyD, LCSW-C, LICSW, Delia Berinde – MS, LPCC, Jennifer Meyer – M.A., LPC, NCC




You are watching: Is he afraid of commitment or just not into me

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“You must never have to look for proof that someone loves you. True love is crystal clear.”

~ Mandy Hale


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It can be an overwhelming to talk around commitment in the early on stages of connection because it calls for us come lean into vulnerability. 

It also requires us to be willing to ask for what we really need and also to be open to acquisition the essential steps to do adjustments.

If you are noticing indications that make you question whether the is fear of meeting or if that is simply not that into you, offer yourself a opportunity to reflect top top the trends in her dynamic. 

Then, take it the procedures you need to talk about what deepening her commitment watch like. 

The complying with tips can aid guide you with this process:

Step 1: Ask yourself if You acknowledge the complying with Signs

Do you an alert red flags or indicators that leave you bewildered or uneasy? It can be herbal for us to brush these type of thoughts off together nothing, however it is vital to skinny in and notice whether you see a pattern: 

When you comment on exclusivity, go he action confused, evasive, or repetitively say that needs an ext time? Does that get protective when girlfriend ask him about commitment or, perhaps, also when discussing what the is in search of romantically? Does he brush off his inconsistency and also make excuses because that his behavior?Does he lug up the defect of having a irreversible serious connection consistently? Does that refuse come be breakable with you?Is he wake up to include you in his life?

Step 2: take into consideration Your relationship with Commitment

We all have a partnership with commitment. This can incorporate ways we have actually learned to ask for commitment, seek commitment or patterns for chasing and/or rejecting commitment that we might be play out v our behaviors. 

Reflecting top top your past experiences and think about what did you do it learned about your strengths and also areas of growth. 

Also, think about what long-term commitment would look like for friend ideally. 

Writing down and also taking inventory about your straightforward needs, wants and also boundaries can be a good way come lay the groundwork for revisiting her dynamics with intentionality. 

Step 3: communicate & Connect 

It may not be straightforward to talk about commitment, yet it is worth it.

You deserve to defend your hearts’ truest desire in partnership and also the only means to do this is to reflect on, clarify and also then come ask for what you need. Discuss if you are both trying to find the same kind that commitment. 

If the prize is no, or if points still it seems to be ~ unclear, take an individual space and also time to decide if healthy compromise is possible. 

Seeking professional guidance for exploring this topic can assist you explore and also discover how to align her deepest wants and needs through your actions.